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Geoff Le Pard wanted participants in his Carrot Ranch #FFRodeo event to make him laugh using about 300 words. The winners can be found here, and my feeble entry is below.

Winner of Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #2

Arachnid Cacophony

Written by Kerry E.B. Black

 Christine and Sarah enjoyed a lazy summer afternoon. A light breeze ruffled the grasses and the old dog’s fur. Latte’s nose twitched, catching interesting scents and perhaps remembering puppyhood.

            With a start, Christine pulled her flip-flop-clad feet up onto the lawn chair. “Uh oh, Sarah. Look. There’s a huge spider on Latte.”

            Sarah squinted. A wolf spider crawled along the dog’s shoulder. Sarah gulped. “What should we do?”

            “We’ll have to get it off.” Hugging her legs, Christine shrunk into herself. “She’s your dog. You get it off.”

            “Come on, Christine. You’re older.”

            Christine blushed. “Yes, but guess what? I’m terrified of spiders, and that one’s gigantic.”

            “Well, I’ll call Latte over and knock the spider off with my crutch.” Sarah lifted her forearm crutch to illustrate.

            Christine nodded. “Be careful, though. Don’t hit Latte. Just knock the spider off.” She fixed her friend with a serious look. “And don’t send it flying over here, either. Got it?”

            “Got it.” With a mock-calm voice, Sarah called her dog. “Latte.”

            Latte’s ears perked. She wagged her golden tail, and an unaccustomed glint infiltrated her chocolate-drop eyes. The usually slow-moving retriever surprised them by leaping to her feet and, with great galumphing, undulating bounds, closed on the women. The spider flopped with each stride, seemingly suspended for seconds before bouncing against the dog’s shoulder, a horrifying progress intensified by arachnophobia.

            Christine screamed and in her haste to escape, knocked her chair to the ground. Her foot tangled in the nylon webbing. The chair slapped against her as she dragged the unwanted tag-a-long in her shrieking, arm-flailing retreat.

Latte followed Christine, unable to hear Sarah’s commands to sit over Christine’s cacophony. Christine ran around the front yard, chair and dog in tow. By the time all calmed, the nobody could find the spider.

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