A letter from last year concerning “The Elf on the Shelf.”

One Year of Letters

12358035_10205351926016931_1654447346_nElf on the Shelf

December 15, 2015

It is a trend here in the United States to position a plastic-faced, limp-bodied elf doll about the house to inspire children to do as asked. The elf watches with its insipid grin and sidelong glances, and then (or so the story goes) rushes off to the North Pole to fill the Big Guy in on the children’s goings on. The tattling of these elves can land non-compliant children on the Naughty List. The frighteningly innocent-looking doll determines the children’s fate.

However, if you can’t trust the reporter, how can you trust the report?

You see, a cursory glance through Pinterest will reveal Elves leaving shelves to go on benders. They indulge in questionable behavior with other dolls, draw mustaches on family portraits, and engage in all sorts of unsavory activities. In my estimation, these dubious practices enacted in drawn-out tableaux across the…

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